Forrest Whitlow

2007-02-03T14:48:00.000-08:00

hey just to let all you know out there (if you are checking this website for answers)...my myspace account has locked me out for some reason and i can't get in to add shows or make any changes to my profile. so i'll be blogging on this site more and communicating about shows and the album. i've added 3 additional shows to the list you see on the show link now (2/3/07). they will be on there by next week. i have added shows in Omaha in late April and am playing a grand opening at a new store of Borders in Omaha on june 16. so there's alot of live shows coming up. i have a new album still being worked on and it will be pushing it to get it out by the end of April. things just always take longer than you expect.
so be cool and hopefully i'll see you around at a show. there's plenty of forrest to buy. i have now copies of the "Vacation" and "into the gloaming" album. they will be available at borders and the others are available online at cdbaby or at borders now.

see ya soon.
forrest

2007-01-12T22:25:00.000-08:00

Friday, January 12, 2007

Amazing!!!! Simply Amazing...
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Music

i had one of the greatest nights of my life tonight....

thanks to all of you who came out and braved the elements to listen and watch me perform. it was stupendous. absolutely could not have asked for a better crowd. you guys were the greatest. and nothing was turned inside out. and the voice didn't crack. and the energy was huge. you could feel hearts beat.

and it was all on video. and the room was beautiful. thanks john scott. i used to do hot yoga in that same space with my friend denise and tonight i found myself sharing songs with her spirit and many more conscious and unconscious spirits, in the room and outside of it. music gives me life. and when i share it...really share it, it comes back tenfold. it's like what i was meant to do. i am so appreciative and joyous for my gift. it is a gift...from the universe...the singular song that plays everywhere, and i am fortunate to tap into it, to be inspired to carry on it's blessing and message. music is energy. that energy inspires me to write and perform. and tonight was the reward for all the doubts and fears i've ever had.

love to all...and please those of you who bought cds...keep in touch and thanks for taking me home with you. : )
for the rest who couldn't make it...here's the story of the night and the set list:

i arrived about 6PM. the snow pellets were pelting down. i had set up the sound equipment the night before, thank goodness. all i hauled in was my three guitars including my twelve string which i just had worked on this week and a direct sound jack installed. new strings. it sounded great.

i had my eyes painted with my 3 button high neck shirt, pee coat, jeans and boots. i had my pig tail winter sock cap on. my hair is now long enough to stick out below the cap. i set up my guiitars, tuned them, did a sound check and then went with my firend Max over to Twin City Tavern for a couple of drinks and a smoke. at 7:15 i strolled in, tore off my coat and my hat....took a quick potty break and then launched into the first song with the video guy honed in on me from 20 feet away. there were about 20 or so people there and maybe it grew to about 25 or so at its peak.

couches were set up. John had the red stage lights i asked for. i had four candles lit in a semi circle contouring the front of the stage. several huge spherical light fixtures hung in groups of four around the 20 foot ceiling room. a few bean bags and a blow up lounge chair and couches provided seating and several folks stood. there were three white lamps hung staggered from the ceiling just to the left of the center of the stage. it was all excellent. the walls were a dark royal blue. wine and beer were by the counter at the door. john's female friend provided brownies. there was coffee also and popcorn. cds were there for folks to peruse. it was all perfect and so it began like this:

sugar mountain (neil young always helps me settle down and loosen up)
puppet presidents
elliott
sunrise in reverse
philosophy of a waitress
spin
hard skin (a new song)
vanilla stolle (new song...good comments on this one)
beauty queen (new song)
earthmover
next generation
gossamer wings
california
cocktails and machine guns
smell the shine on my brain

(took a break for a beer, a smoke and a potty break...folks stayed ... it was sweet)

on the fly
hanger on
demerol ( the only mis-step...kind of rough)
amie's promise (new song)
christian mary and me (new song)
fool ( new song on twelve string)
sos (new song)
breathe ( new song...nailed it!)
tears of maggie chamberlain (new song)
dumbshit
beautiful world ( new song...nailed it! yes!!!)
ingrid (finale....requested)

all in all i sold more cds than i have in a long time....about 25. but i could have not sold any and it would have still been a most satisfying evening. the acoustics were amazing and my voice was right on tonight.

ok. that's a rap...or is it "a wrap"?????
the video/audio guy said he got some good stuff and will edit and make into a DVD show for sale.

thanks everyone.
love,
forrest

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2007-01-10T13:26:00.000-08:00

i have just come to realize something, i mean i've known it before but someone reminded me of it today...

there is only one me out there. and everything i do i do uniquely as forrest clinton whitlow.

I am the greatest forrest clinton whitlow on the planet. wow! that is something to think about. no one sees the world quite the way i do. similarly yes. but exactly....No!

only one person can occupy a given space at a time. and so right now, i am the center of the universe. does that make me selfish? if being the center of the universe, and liking your uniqueness, and that no one plays music or sings or writes quite like ME, then yes i am very very selfish. but i am also a giving person just by virtue of sharing my art let alone the kind things i do for people during the day that no one sees or that even i don't realize.

No one can say it like me. no one can love like me. and that goes for all of you out there. chin up. eyes open. smile. bear it. conquer. "i am the greatest"...not because god made me that way...because my parents gave me to the world and the world has shaped me, the places i've been, people i've met, music i've listened to.... I am an amalgam and at the same time i have used all that experience, all those experiences and stored them and now i express them from my special slant of view.

if you can make yourself accept this kind of view then you always have something special no one else has.

I AM THE GREATEST!

2007-01-01T18:48:00.000-08:00

Monday, January 01, 2007

blogosphere presents "Seven"
Current mood: flirty
Category: Music

"Seven" is the tentative title of the new indie release of forrest whitlow....crush smooth!

titles are:
alternative universe
banda lou
beautiful world
breathe
hard skin
christian mary and me
four
vanilla stolle
fool
omaha
while on my way to see aimee mann
tattered tune
sos
tears of maggie chamberlain
walking on the sky

15 tunes 2/3rds finished. a few additional vocals, piano, organ, violins and cello...and a little touch of electric guitar and it's done. it sounds awesome as is now. jeff harshbarger put bass on over the weekend. he's amazing. john bersuch has been great with the recording and drum playing as well. can't wait for you to hear it. hope you can't wait too.

unless i drop into a "i hate this shit" deep depression...i see no reason to not put it out. another artistic self indulgence. but it's what makes me happy and hopefully it is meaningful music to some or all of you out there. (cross fingers) : )

so we might be looking at say a March release date and have a release party at probably Prosperos. it's been a wonderful place to do releases in the past. everyone there is there to listen and buy the new forrest product. sweet. ok. i'm getting a bit ahead of myself.

back to work tomorrow. god, my job....just working...i wish i didn't have to do and could just do music. maybe someday.

"seven" soon.
f

Currently reading :
The Brothers Karamazov
By Fyodor Dostoevsky
Release date: By 14 June, 2002

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2006-12-29T17:26:00.000-08:00

Friday, December 29, 2006

I Face the Face
Current mood: anxious

i face the face, i face the face/i force the smile, i force the smile/eternity awaits, eternity awaits/and a while, and a while....

have a good holiday?
not me. well, it started out well and then all hell broke loose. family and religion don't mix. remember that. did you remember that? no i didn't. but i was pressed and i stated my position and i'm glad i did but i'm not glad that it caused an upheaval.
i'm depressed as usual over the holidays. i don't have a lover. i wish. i wish i did. one person to fancy me and me her. wouldn't that be swell. hard skin. maybe i'm jaded or numb to it all....would you feel it if it (cupid's arrow) pierced you after all these years. be my valentine. pleeeeez?

ok. i've got to get my head on straight to finish this album project that has now reached it's second week. john bersuch and i have been working on. the project. jeff williams has been helping and jeff harshbarger is coming over tomorrow to put down bass. 15 songs. not sure they are worth putting out as i performed them. i'm my own worst critic. there is no concept here really. just a bunch of songs slapped together....some done in one take and some in 5 takes. john has put drums on some. several will not need drums.

there's your update.
i wish i could be more positive. what i am is real. this is me. up and down. back and forth. we all need love. i'm no different. have i got it together? i dare you ask! no i don't. but i can get it together quickly.
i am a cool person, a kind person and don't I forget it. bleeeeee.

take care out there. love you all. don't be strangers.
forrest
ps....don't forget the first performance of '07 is at Scott Fitness at 43rd and state line on jan 12 at 7pm. see ya there.

Currently reading :
Los Hermanos Karamasov/the Karamasov Brothers
By Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Release date: By January, 2004

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2006-11-26T19:42:00.000-08:00

i am a man. i have been known to espouse lyrically ideas and subjects in song and everyday conversation. i have been known to freeze up in front of a group. i have been known to be shy. i have been known to get very stressed out by too many kites in the air at once. i have been known to have loving yet short term friendships that are so intense they could never be replaced in a million years and yet the intensity, like the brightest flame of a mature bonfire will wax and wane and eventually, if not fed, burn down to its death. i have suffered through many of those deaths, to be quite candid and dramatic. and i regret none of them. for they have made me a better person. i love still everyone i've ever loved once, however long or short. and so it is now that i turn this night lyrically, if i haven't already...because it is hard for me to write or speak without this naturally inspired gift of verse. the universal light shone in me honors that same light in you. : )

i was thinking just the other day
i gotta find a place to get away
kick back and rest my head
learn to relax again
get off the fast road
take the slow road down to who knows where
well, i don't know
maybe we could go together
yeah, yeah...mmmmmm

you and me down that road
not a care in the world to know
forgetting anything about before
chasin' all our thoughts away
thinkin' about nothing all day
willin' to give it all away
just to begin again

and goodbyes are hard to say
'take it easy', now just may
not be the thing
you wanna hear

now we got a clean slate for sure
i got mine and you got yours
castin' our fishin' lures
into Lake Tomorrow
soon all our troubles gone
floating down that river long
good luck friend now be strong
where ever you roam

and 'goodbyes' are hard to say
'take it easy', now just may
not be the thing
you wanna hear

"lake tomorrow" from the album Vacation '96 fw

2006-11-21T19:25:00.000-08:00

i just wann comment on cool people in my world. this is a few of you. the ones i've known for a while. the ones that i think are truly characters, no poseurs....they make them fun to be around. anyway, should i do this. maybe i'll piss off folks i left off. maybe i should just start by saying that i really appreciated john mitchell, my singer songerwriter friend from Kansas Cities only songwriter's guild (The KC Songwriter's Circle). john i think is a genius writer of satire and story via song. probalby he writes novels also. anyway, john reads these things and he's a cool person that i include on my list that isn't a list yet. john is a character. he plays himself whereever he goes. and does it quiet well. no pretense. just a genuine love for writing and playing and communing with others. a really good guy, with a stand of profound ecentricity about him, but he wouldn't be cool if he didn't ....but he doesn't play it....it's real.

David Hakan is another. Like john he's a prolific songwriter. and like john writes some amazing songs. david's are more seriuos...but they both clock in about the same ...none less than 5 minutes...jk (maybe they have one or two that clock in at 4 something.) David is a tireless worker, founder of the circle, teaches school, puts out album after album...has been writing great songs for decades. David does not get enough credit in this town for what he has done for songwriters and providing year in year out a monthly at least, place for the circle of songwriters to gather in a public forum and share their writings and compostions. It was a cool thing when i first stumbled upon it back in 93 and it still is. Such a great place of support for young frightened songwriters like i was (and still am.)
David you are definitely cool.

there's alot of other cool people in the music scene....below the radar. Bob Morris is a really really good songwriter and composer, plays flawless guitar and sings beautifully. Bob is a little quirky and left of center but that's alright. Bob recently put out a double disc. Cool.

David Blythe is a good friend of mine. He's very cool. David has helped me so much in getting my cds packaged for public consumption. he's done alot of art work and directon on cd covers for free. Beyond that David is just one of the very nicest guys i've ever met. he runs the Lawson Review. and he's a heck of a songwriter too with an amazingly powerful voice. david needs no mic....thats how strong his voice is. david whatever happened to that ole pine box. david blythe is definitely cool. he rides a BMW motorcycle for god's sake with his guitar in tow all the way from Lawson to Kc for circle events. Now there's the dude.

ok....enough with cool people. maybe sometime i'll revisit. and when i do i'll talk about Harry Hewlett (wow, harry can have you laughing and crying ....really great guitarist and songwriter) and Rechelle Malin. Rechelle rocks. She's coming out with a new cd soon. Can't wait. i sang on it. yay.

later on.
also, getting the songs ready to start working on the new cd "7" soon....hopefully, ...cross your toes.

2006-11-19T11:20:00.000-08:00

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Prospero's was a BLAST....thanks to all of you.
Current mood: awake
Category: Music

widdle poodlip means it was a wonderful night...

last evening at prosperos bookstore. we had a packed house and i actually played and bantered well enough to keep people through the first set and alot of you all returned the second. i won't name everyone that showed, but thanks especially to all the songwriter's circle friends who showed up...you guys and girls are the greatest. i don't think i've ever had that many song circle members at one of my own shows. cool. eeeps. wooops.

But thanks especially to Susan Peters and her husband Norm for coming out. Susan has been one of my good friends who has helped me be able to see alot of Europe. i stayed with her in Germany a few years ago and toured around europe and then went back in 2004 and traveled eastern europe including Prague. Susan was always a great hostess and even got me a gig or two so that i can say i'm an international performer. whooooo!

Will thanks for rememberiing to pass the spittoon....I got a good chunck of change and i guess we sold a few cds.

well here is how it played out. I got all of my equipment packed in about 10:05 with the help of jim (thanks jim) and i was set up by 10:25. I surrounded the stage with white candles in a semi-circle (about 10 of them)...nicely placed to protect me from the raging potentially unfriendly crowd (hee). the lights at this time are still up and Sara McGlocklin is still the house music. the guitars are tuned, the sound check is complete, I have a beer at my side. I then dip out of sight to the green room, take a piss, and put on my eye shadow and silver face paint, take a deep breath and then climb the stairs and enter the back of the stage. The lights have been lowered and the candles look beautifully ambient. the atmosphere has been set....a large crowd of about 40 folks have gathered into the small Prospero's venue...most sitting...some standing in the back. Just into "Next Generation" , the kick off song, an old friend walks in. Sally. We used to hang out and we worked together. (thanks for dropping in Sal and happy days with your new man...). Then the set list went something like this:

1. Next Generation
2. Elliott
3. Sunrise In Reverse
4. Puppet Presidents
5. Homeland Security
6. Harrison Bergeron
7. Earthmover
8. Spin
9. Philosophy of a Waitress
10.Hanger On
11.Ever Had
12.Gossamer Wings
13.Beautiful World
14.Xn, Mary and Me
15.Speed of Love
16.Egg Shells

then we took an intermission, had a beer and a smoke and
spoke to those who had to leave. People milled around for
five or so minutes, drinking, laughing and having nice chats
i talked to brenda and she said the speed of love is twice as
fast when it's leaving. i think that is true.

17.Frank (aborted...couldn't remember the words)
18.Shine
19.Dumbshit
20.Amie's Promise (this is out of order, i actually played this
one, launched into this one, right in the outro of Gossamer Wings
in the first set...woops)
21.Walkin'On The Sky
22.Hard Skin
23.Beauty Queen
24.SOS (aborted...didn't feel right)
25.On The Fly
26.Breathe
27.Ingrid
28.Paris Train (this was played in the first set for Susan)
29.Damn O' Clock
30.Madagascar...ended the evening by request...actually they
wanted more but it was late by then...say 1:30ish. Ingrid was
actually a request too at the end...and Breathe came off swimmingly.
The best song of the night was the first set ender "egg shell".
new song.......pretty powerful to me. yes.

so 30 songs and i probably forgot 1 or 2 that i played and then the
two i aborted...so it's about 30.
anyway, it's a little unnerving to play to a audience in rapped
attention. but after a few of the more difficult songs (elliott gets harder and harder for me to play????) it gets to
be a "feeding off the audience thing" and some songs you know we
are all on the same wavelength...like earthmover and egg shells and
Christian Mary and Me and Breathe.

so the lights went up...a toast for a safe drive home...loaded out, went
to MacDonalds cause i hadn'thad anything all day. and then home to sleep.

be well and thanks again to all of you for a beautiful evening at my fave
venue.
peace.

ps...i also played "Blue Brains"...but i can't remember which set it was??????

2006-11-11T17:56:00.000-08:00

hey yous out there.
reminder before i forget to check out the Prosperos show this coming saturday 11/18 at 10:30PM. Byob. it's a lovely time. forrest will be solo unless a friend or so shows up. brand new songs. and yes the rumors are true I'm pregnant with some new songs and i'm working on studio schedules and getting together a lineup of players and hopefully the excitement will build and the momentum will not abate and i'll follow through with this. there has to be that linchpen song that pulls them all together and i might have it. not a concept album in subject matter but hopefully a consistent new engaging sound fleshing itself around these melodies of mine and making otherwise inane lyrics mean something. i think i've got a shot. working title is "7". "woo that's cool, duh clever too...where'd that come from?" figure it out Einsteins!

also, November 19, a Sunday, on Barry Lee's KKFI show "Signal To Noise", from 1 to 3....somewhere in there he will be playing a cut from Sunrise In Reverse. So listen. Barry always has an eclectic selection of music. thanks barry.

thanks to all the folks at Northland Borders for a good time last night. and thanks to the fans. you know who you are and to all of you who bought cds....i hope you like them.
and i saw two of my fave bands last night Bacon Shoe and Oh My God after my show. so it was a great night.

layterswayter...

2006-10-16T17:49:00.000-07:00

posted on 10/16/06 by forrest
i'm in a bad mood.
no, no i'm not. actually, i've just performed a cognitive shift...and now i am happy. Circumstances aside, i am happy goddammit. so get off my ass, you ass rider. i get that all day from suckoids that have this need to get to point b in seconds flat and run over anyone driving the speedlimit. F'n u man...that's what i'm sayin' to you with my eyes. and then it turns out to be a beautiful girl jammin' to her tunes. she must be, cause as she passes me like i'm a house along side of the road, she's bobbin' her head and sayin' somethin' to someone over that f'n phone glued to her ear. ogid! can't anyone get around anymore, go anyplace, spend anytime without their phone stuck up their ear hole. it's the welt we live in...and i'm getting sick and........ cognitive shift coming on as i write. breath. breath. it's okay if you wanna smash your car while diddling with meaningless conversation on your goofy expensive phone while driving your 1994 SUV....just so you can say "i got an SUV". bloop.

ok....this weekend was cool. (and now i think i'll switch colors). had a couple of giggies in St. Louis....the burbs actually....Creve Coeur and Ballwin MO. I have hired a roadie named Banda. She wears awesome underwear that says stuff, political stuff ... like "My Bush is Pro-Choice". So Banda came with me to operate the merch table, help me drive, be the beautiful rock chick hangin' with the wanna be rock star, taking photos and running the video camera. We had a blast. Got some great footage of the shows and of the drive and of our day in the city on Saturday at Union Station, at the Hard Rock (you know i had never been in a Hard Rock Cafe before...woooo) and over in University. We stopped in at Riddles for a drink and a few jokes. heeee. no not funny.

Banda got me from a tower swinging in the wind with a cig and my new hat....all on video. And of course when you look like me and there's a lovely Banda wielding a video recorder then people are gonna think you are the shit. and everyone was wanting to be in the film. we did the rock star brush off and hopped off to the next destination tempting the crowd with an occasional turn around with the camera. oh, to be famous. lovely, just lovely to play with the mass media generation.

music was good. played my ass off. sold a shit load of cds at one cafe and only one at the next. that's how it goes ya knoes? We had some beers before and after the shows. ate pizza at 2:30 in the morning. watched some show with people shooting up meth. got sleepy. went to sleep.
Sex?....no sex. Banda is my Roadie. and though she is hot....i have to keep my rock star image pure....well, you know....like i'm available to whomever that wears a skirt and panties. puke. puke.

ok....so i'm not that way. i do have to put on the personality. i have to be the best i can be x 10. that's what i read once about tips on being an entertainer and having folks wanna buy your product. your best self x 10. not bad advice. So i took a personality pill and i was just fine.

anyway....i ramble. we had fun. next weekend i do it all over again. for more blogs on the trip go to myspace.com/forrestwhitlow. St. Louis again. hope to see a forrest show at a KC venue soon.
peace and be well. last year at this time i was leaving the hospital with 12 staples keeping my guts from falling out. thanks for all the cards you sent us....we were all choked up.

Video called "St. Louis, Banda's panties sure made you blush"....will be out soon.

later....................greater

2006-09-25T21:38:00.000-07:00

posted 9/26/06 by spader wader's friend...

i was thinking how little control we have over our lives. for sure we can't control others. but hell, we can't even control ourselves. i'm all over the place. from pole to pole. not in rapid fashion. i just drift gradually from feeling good about self to feeling like a lead pipe has just discombobulated every meaningful partical in my head with a jolt from the toilet troll. he wields a hell of a lead pipe. yes it is all connected with toilet duties. that troll can make you feel pretty crappy about yourself....like i can't control my bowel habits....so i take this opium tincture to keep me in control during the day...but sometimes the troll gets me good....and being all dazed i let him bash me over and over again. and i forget the other pole .... how good it felt...the euphoria....the fans...the creation of songs ex nihilo. and the in betweens are good too...just going along....no worries, nothing to increase the blood pressure....no highs or lows.

i'm terrible at relationships whether with men or women, friends or lovers. i am too selfish. Too selfish to carry one on for very long. and too picky. and i'm nothing to look at myself. it's all winding down. do i accept who i am warts and all as harry hewlett once wrote in a song, or do i still try to pull off the most obviously premeditated acting job in the history of smallville. there comes a point when you don't have it anymore. and sometimes it's the belief that starts the decline. and sometimes it's the right thing to "hang it up".

i have no band. i have no practice space. i have little energy to go out and recruit a band. i have boxes of unsold cds. and i'm writing this when i'm on the down side, the pole for depressives. no one wants to be with a loser. it's the winner that takes all. i take nothing.

this too will pass. there's a code says Pearl Jam. easy for them to say.
after SIR....i don't know what else to do. party album.....a matthew sweet "100% Fun" album. crank it and stank it. what's the point of making more music when there's no money and no one to market it. oh...i got it...make a few copies for your friends...have them over to your place...play a marathon set with drinks and cheeses and really go grassroots. Townes Van Zant...now there was a songwriter extraordinaire. but he faded into oblivion and literally killed himself drinking. i am not TVZ. i'm not PJ. I'm not anyone. i tried the persona, developing one a few times but that got to be too much of a job...becoming more important than the music. hell i can barely remember the words. but ya gotta be special, unusual, while also writing a great melody and lyric. or you could be Yo La Tengo. now there's a band i wish i could be. they rock seemingly without effort....but you know they work thier asses off. and i don't do that nor do i have near the talent they do.

SIR....was the best album i've done. mainly because i had all the right musicians and the best engineer and producer to make it sound great and effect people. but i can't settle with just that. i need to really put out a stinker. a bomb. to solidify the fact that forrest clinton whitlow means little or nothing in this town. and really i don't need to do anything more music wise to make that statement. some people have it and some don't. and maybe it's time to save my money and not throw it away at making more discs that no one will buy.

yeah....i'll have to think on that one. 'cause the younger generation doesn't get it. and the older generation doesn't hear it. and so no one but me and a few hanger ons get it...and i'm not sure they do??? and blahdiblahdiblahdiblah!
enjoy your tuesday all two of you.
piper.
f
ps....this wasn't a pity party...asking for 911 positive reinforcement statements. i'm just in a mood. but i do believe the feeling...though i know i exaggerate.

2006-09-24T23:07:00.000-07:00

posted 9/25/06 by moi

Spader Wader came by tonight. He told me....no he reminded me that a year ago tomorrow I got sick, called in ill to work the next day. I was sick all day Tuesday and then went to the ER on Tuesday nite/Wednesday morning with a gut ache, the usual symptoms of crohn's veterans: the scarring from surgeries past and on again off again inflamations and swelling of the small bowel...bring on symptoms like chainsaws cutting thier way out of your gut. yeah, real fun. but familiar and so there's no question what you have to do...go to the ER and find out if there's a blockage. And last year it was blocked. And surgery ensued. And well the rest of the year was hell...and i lost my job and well, i wasn't pretty...lost 25 pounds and my life in general was turned upside down.

So thanks Spader for reminding me. i'm alot healthier now. I'm working out and eating better for the most part. anywho, i've met some cool people of late in the music world...outside the bar scene. I went to a cool songwriters party last night at Kaye and Michael Johnston's. I had a blast. It was windy and kind of nippy outside but they had an outdoor fire going...and we all sat around the fire and played and drank and sang...and it was real relaxing. Thanks Kaye for having this cool party. We should do it more often. But then it would n't be as special. I still have the smell of your wood in my clothes and it reminds me of the fire burning stove back home or the times i've gone to big bonfire parties. i love that smell.

okay then Spader...i think i'll close this week out. i may have a new fan club site forming by some new fans on myspace...called Neil Lynch....(go to myspace.com/neillynch). this out of the wood work trio have banded together to make forrest whitlow a S T A R. and that's cool with me. check it out.

oh and there are new pics on myspace.com/forrestwhitlow too. spread the word. word of mouth about my music is the only way it's gonna get bigger. please make it bigger. pllllleAze. a guy from fairway bought Patch of Blue off the internet today. His name is Bart as i recall. Thanks Bart for buying my music. yay!

keep thinking peace and do all you can to change what you can change and maybe the world will be transformed for the better where people cooperate instead of incinerate. glue. f

2006-09-17T21:30:00.000-07:00

posted by yo forrest 9/17/06...

eh hey....i just met some of the nicest people this weekend. Amanda, Cassy and AJ. They invited me over to thier place last nite. the house happened to have a few guitfiddles laying around and so i played some of my tunes...at thier request of course. i played this guys Martin D15. god it was so sweet. great dry wood sound.

so Amanda is a cutie. and cassy is a crazy (with good taste) music groupie/stalker. and AJ happened to be there who i hadn't met before. and she was a delight. bouyant, with a smile as wide as the ocean and cups of joy running over all around her. very infectious. Amanda and I and cassy were doing this numerology thingy test and i turned out to be just like Amanda, a "4". Apparently, amanda and myself are creative, need lots of compliments, and depressive and like to be individualists, as in unique and be recognized as such. I like people who are like me. it's like looking in the mirror...they reflect back yourself. i love myself ... therefore i love Amanda...except then i hate myself and then i would hate Amanda. it would be like if Amanda and i ever had sex, i would be fucking myself. lordy. how did i get into that? hee.

ok. i'm getting somewhat closer to booking a studio. (john bersuch, you wanna record the next forrest record?) these girls inspired me last night. i need a muse. and they've agreed to be my sounding board and give me feedback on what songs are keepers, what songs go together, and what kind of production should happen. it'd be an interesting approach. of course, i am a control nut and would probably conclude by nixing any suggestions they had. but i think the process could be fun. and i need flyer girls, and flyer-maker girls and promotion people. i just hope i don't alienate anyone before it gets off the ground. of course these girls had some mind altering substances when they were saying all these things...????? bloop.

i figure i have about 30 songs to pick from. do i wanna go country....country rock....bluegrass or pop. or should i just do it the way it comes out when i add the band and it falls in whatever hole(s) that are appropriate. the important thing is to try and have fun with it. recording can be so much fun. it's been fun and it's been always a spiritual experience...to see your songs come to life. it's an uncanny experience of creation.

back to the routine tomorrow. speed shifting to work. fitting everyone in. getting through the day. breathing. trying to enjoy the moments...all of them. remembering to breath. smiling. being thankful.
go to myspace as i've put up a MP3. Elliott.
tell all your friends to go to cdbaby or tower.com or i-tunes or any other digital distribution service (i have 4 of my cds on about 35 companies) buy hard copy or download individual songs or the entire album. and you can also get SIR and POB at Prosperos and Borders. it's about word of mouth baby.

peace up,
f
ps sminker-roodle

2006-09-16T17:53:00.000-07:00

Forrest Whitlow 9/16/06
hellooooo. i am so sleepy. i can hardly be held responsible for anything i write in this here blugger. i took some pain pills and they are kicking my sore ass severely. which is of course the whole pint now isn't it...since i have sore ass problems.

ok today was the Watkins Mill music jam. i played at 3 and i had a good time. i played (hmmm this'll be a task to see if i can remember) 6 or 7 songs: "Myrtle and Billie" and "Best of Me Now" with Dave Blythe on banjo...ho! then "Next Generation", "Repo Woman", "Hanger On", "Slowin' Down", "Madagascar" and "On the Fly". I think that was it.

there was a soft face smile crowd there. very supportive. and the staff at the Park were nice and helpful as usual. I got a MO state park sticker for my gueeetar case. woooo. you go man.

thank you Amanda and Cassy for coming all the way from Westport to see me. that made my day, along with seeing my new friend and fellow songwriter Paula. And David, you did a great job putting on the Sixth Annual Porch Jam. Cool. Thanks for asking me to play.

Hope all you that bought cds enjoy. And those that didn't....i hope you feel guilty because i gave you plenty of chances. now you'll have to go on-line or to borders and pay alot more. huh! teach ya now want it? "is he being serious?" "no honey, it's hyperbole....bad hyperbole. he's trying to be faux serious and appear clever."
no i'm not. i am serious. i need to get rid of several hundred forrest cds...and not just get rid of....sell them!!!!!!! i need m o n e y.

Amanda and Cassy...hope to see you again sometime soon. Check the website or myspace for shows. And by the way....shhhhhhhh. keep it under your hat. but since a couple of my cds are out of print they are downloadable now on my web page. fyi. should have told you that today cassy. Both of yas...write me. we live so close. yell at me. mink.

ok...now i'm not so sleepy. i'm gonna work on some of my new songs. god....is all this boring to all of you out there. sorry to blog on and on. yada yada.
war be over. bush be gone. peace be here. troops come home. humility return.
laterrrrrron
f

2006-09-13T18:00:00.000-07:00

posted 9/13/06 by fcw
ok. here tis.
i've been cleansing myself of impurities. no beer. no smokes. no eating out. no contact with people (well, just at my job and the supermarket and well ..ok then you know what i mean...no dates, nothing), no happy chocolate bars, no dairy. I've been getting 3 meals, 8 hours of sleep and exercising and running almost daily for the past 4 weeks. i can now remember my songs. i have back to back weekends scheduled in St. Louis in Octubre with a gig this weekend at the Back Porch Jam (see shows). Anyone wanna ride along and be my roadie????? jk...or not.

anywho, i don't know who reads this blog shite but it's kinda cool to write, thinking you may have an audience. i have an old friend coming to town this weekend. i haven't seen him (Peter) in "20 years!" Peter used to be in the city and a songwriter friend of mine. he moved to california, found a wife and two kids along the line. it'll be good to see Peter and have an old pal chat.

musically or is it musicly...no musically, i've been writing some songs and playing them at Songwriters events around town. it's been fun to do 3 or 4 songs instead of holding down a 2 or 3 hour show. it's like a quick fix. doing a new song out for the first time is a rush. takes me back to the old Songwriter's Circle days when we brought brand new songs every month to the coffee houses. it's not as lonely sometimes.... when you are soloing on the road or in town even, the crowd can be a tough sell depending on the venue. but at the circle there are so many songwriters and familiar faces, it becomes a support, a safe place to bear your soul via song...which is mostly what i do when i write. sorry, no novelty songs, no funny or clever tunes from me.

oh, by the way...on Neil Young's "Songs of the Times" list...."homeland security" has come from 400 all the way to 122 on the list. it's a heatseeker. blah. Curiously or coincidently enough there are now 2 other songs with the same title on the list....but for now mine is on top.

ok. enough about me. how are you out there? send me a comment. bust my balls. lay me down for the count. scrub my scotum with SOS pads. let me have it. blogs can be so self absorbed...just like the artist who writes them. hink. blueyou. f

2006-08-28T21:10:00.000-07:00

posted by a friend of spader wader on 8/28/06
spader wader called the tomato to get a red color to go with his black 4 button suit for the suit he has reluctanctly brought against his former family who could not surround him with the love he needed to be a person who succeeded in a world of higher decisions, playing god like surgeons and their incisions...it crushed his ego and though he let go, he ponders whether it is legitimo or revenge ... so goes the strained, pained world of spader wader. it's only life after all spader...don't be so blue...you'll either get the jusfified desserts of the kind that bring prosperity to poverty or you will continue as you always have, sweating the brow to make a bite proof coin to spend on a string to replace the one ya broke when ya sang to the gracious people who came and stayed and raved over how you moved them and they you.
spader wader...don't give unless you are sure that karma is coming to us all. spader...we love you.

2006-08-28T15:28:00.000-07:00

Forrest Whitlow
posted 8/28/06 by forrest
it's been a piss poor day, i could easily say. but i'm not going to say it. because in comparison to recent days past, the pissy poorness of today does nothing to compare.

a couple of weeks ago i ran out of some of my vital medicine and the pharmacy pudged around, and well, long story short...i was in withdrawal majorly and it sent me into a 10 day deep depression, the sorts of which i've not experienced before. even after returning to the "vital tonic", i still saw things very soberly. i began to hate the fact that i was so wed to this drug and that going off it could send me reeling over the precipice like a mad man without trousers.

maybe it was a sane moment...(maybe not so much one), i canceled most of my gigs for September. it's regrettable really but i had to do it. it was the right thing. and i hope none take that as a turn of irresponsibility. i've always tried to honor and respect the venues that schedule me to show up and put on the best show i can. so please i hope to play at your venues again at some point. i simply needed to focus on what i determined to be more crucial things than music right now....my existence.

i've been having some doubts about my music, my appeal, and my resolve. what the hell am i doing? am i doing this for the right reasons? does the music make me happy? most times it does but there are times when i can't pull it off. and i have to say "no". cause i can. it's about self preservation. i need music to be fun. and when playing my tunes becomes no fun then it's time to stop...stop until the passion and magic return. and if they don't...then stop for good. you can't fake it. too many people do and it shows.

so sorry to all my fans/friends for my laying low for September, if indeed you were counting on coming to a show. maybe it'll all be worth it. i've become a hermit. and in my monastic ways i usually write, read and play my guitar without any thought of playing out. and i fast from alcohol and cigarettes. and it makes me feel better. and i realize that it's good to be unaltered....

i'm working hard at my new job.
i'm trying to figure out my spiritual track. i've been untracked for so long. a wanderer and wonderer. i need to find a cacoon of spiritual peace to envelope myself with. railing against the "man" has to stop. a candle needs to be lit. i'm trying to find the fire. i feel then my writings and songs will take on an entirely new dimension. i write this today without any knowledge of how i get this. maybe i fool myself. but i attempt. i experiment. and we'll see what happens. blessings, namaste! and hopefully to come....the piece de resistance!

2006-08-15T20:03:00.000-07:00

posted by forrest 8/15/06
3 of my songs have made it on Neil Young's "Living With War Today" internet site..."Songs of the Times". Cocktails and Machine Guns has moved back up to number 88 after dropping to 109. Homeland Security and Earthmover made it on the site last week and have moved up to number 122 and 136 respectively. There are over 300 protest songs on the list. it's awesome that folks are downloading and listening to these songs. I don't have a hits counter on my website but i'm thinking that i'm getting alot of visitors to the site. i'm hoping folks are buying these songs from Itunes or from CDBABY.COM. I hope so. maybe i'll notice on my next check. anyway, it's good to have the exposure after these songs coming up on the one year anniversary of thier release "Sunrise In Reverse" August 19, 2005. It's cool that they are getting some national attention. and for a good cause.
enough of tuting my horn. hope to see you at a show soon. i'm working on some new tunes. and in the meantime i'm enjoying chad rex's new album that just came out this week "Gravity Works Fire Burns". If you don't have it ....buy it. It's without a doubt one of the best albums in any genre for the year 2006. I put it in the "classic" category. Very excellent. Chad thanks for making a great album. : )

2006-08-13T20:51:00.000-07:00

Forrest Whitlow

2006-08-13T05:57:00.000-07:00

posted by forrest 8/13/06
Saw some shows
Saw some bands
Saw some people
Shook some hands
drank some beers
smoked some fire
Caught a wedding
took a shower
ate some turkey
took some pills
bought some music
got some bills
wrote some blogs
saw a Bible
heard a sermon
heard some vows
wore a suit
used a towel
took a piss
took a shit
burned my bread
blew some smoke
set off alarm
ran out of soap
used shampoo
washed some clothes
got some dirty
late to bed
woke up at 7:30
posted a post
repeat the bed
slept all day
the week ahead
put in my time
see my people
give what i have
return to domicile
another week passes
a show on Sunday
party on saturday
circle on friday
wrote a song
"happy family"

have a week. see ya at the outdoors Prosperos festival on 39th Street on the 20th. me and the pickles.

2006-08-11T18:05:00.001-07:00

posted by forrest 8/11/06
better beware what you write. people are reading these things. don't say you are bumbed out and taking hefty amounts of opium and downers to be able to relax and sleep and escape the pain. don't dare say anything like that. folks 'll think you are mental, on the cusp of a break down...into an evil space..wasting away...in an emergent situation. there's a reputation to uphold. you have influence. someone you counsel in the workplace might read your blogs and call you a hypocrite. it's dangerous to be wide open and speak your mind. to let things flow. maybe some things a person shouldn't say. but what the fuck is this forum for anyway, if you can't, on your own webpage, say "myspace fucking sucks". it won't let me put a frickin' simple picture on there. right now i couldn't even get to my space. it stuck on that fucking hour glass forever. i mean i'm all for technology...but if it's not extremely forgiving and friendly and can't put up with un-savy users then it pisses me off and i click 'stop' and say fuck it. so i go to my journal on my web-site...which is really cool now ....cause you critics and friends and little kids who aren't supposed to hear bad words and profane subject matter can read this shit (and why would you take the time unless you are a friend or a relative or a random loser with nothing else to do) and then reply with whatever comments you wanna make. the age of writing. the computer has brought it back. it's also revealed how stupid folks are and for those that do not use spell check....well, some people really need an intense course in spelling or read more so they can learn new words and learn to spell. of course i suppose that's part of the blogging romance is that you don't have to be anything close to literary or intellectual...you simply spit out what sounds good phonetically (see...did i spell that word right????) and you shit it out onto the screen.

i am bored. i am too tired to get out and face the public. it's been a tiring week. i played the songwriters night at davey's uptown ramblers club on Wednesday nite...didn't get to bed till 5AM....got up in time for work ....worked till noon and came home and slept the rest of the afternoon and evening. today was a good day. got my work done and got home by 3:30. the Kansas City Music Awards are a couple of streets over as i write at the Uptown theatre. Same ole shit every year. But if you happen to be nominated for a category, like i had been for the last four years till this one (thought i'd drop that in...cause i'm full of myself) then you actually for one night feel like you are a celebrity, like it's the Grammys. But really you are just a speck among all the specks. Pussies and Dicks getting stoned and drunk...dressing in thier sexy attire, drinking thier wine...making eye contact ...voyuering....looking at the storied chandeliers and the carved images that encircle the ceiling, the art work...it's all a beautiful backdrop for a fairytale night of make believe ....that KC is suddenly the glitz and glitter of Hollywood. Fun yes. Meaningless otherwise. i never won. but i had fun.

i guess i've said enough about the national attention that Sunrise In Reverse album has gotten for it's protest songs on Neil Young's Living With War Today on-line newspaper. I have three songs among the some three hundred protest Songs of the Times that made the site so far. it shows that there are a lot of artists out there that have a conscience and use thier art to make a statement against the Bush administration and the war. And i think it's awesome of Neil to provide a high profile site for the little known artists to get exposure. you can also submit Protest videos. some of those are really great. And then there's YouTube.....that's a great site.

okay. i'm done. thanks for all for putting up with my moods. i can be a moody SOB. I really stunk it out at Davey's. Not sure why. I always get demons when i go there and i feel i can't really shine...like i don't belong. i've gotta get over that. one problem is i wasn't comfortable in my skin and with the sound coming back at me and the audience seemed to be somewhere else and it didn't help that i was just aweful. oh well, some nights are that way.

i've been in a creative shit hole lately. and i have not been really coming up with lyrics. what do you say after "Sunrise In Reverse"? And i am not well. I feel pressure regarding my health. I gotta work to have insurance. and work becomes a parasite that sucks my creative energy dry. but you have to make money to live in this world or at least this society. and so if it means pulling back on music to stay employed and healthy....then that's what i'll do. I'm hoping for at least one more muse to give me one more album worth going in debt over. but the songs i have now...they are light, nothing really complicated...but i don't believe in them enough to go in debt to record them and put them on a cd. So, i wait. the muse...where is she? or is this game over?
spluuuuuge!

2006-08-11T18:05:00.000-07:00

posted by forrest 8/11/06
better beware what you write. people are reading these things. don't say you are bumbed out and taking hefty amounts of opium and downers to be able to relax and sleep and escape the pain. don't dare say anything like that. folks 'll think you are mental, on the cusp of a break down...into an evil space..wasting away...in an emergent situation. there's a reputation to uphold. you have influence. someone you counsel in the workplace might read your blogs and call you a hypocrite. it's dangerous to be wide open and speak your mind. to let things flow. maybe some things a person shouldn't say. but what the fuck is this forum for anyway, if you can't, on your own webpage, say "myspace fucking sucks". it won't let me put a frickin' simple picture on there. right now i couldn't even get to my space. it stuck on that fucking hour glass forever. i mean i'm all for technology...but if it's not extremely forgiving and friendly and can't put up with un-savy users then it pisses me off and i click 'stop' and say fuck it. so i go to my journal on my web-site...which is really cool now ....cause you critics and friends and little kids who aren't supposed to hear bad words and profane subject matter can read this shit (and why would you take the time unless you are a friend or a relative or a random loser with nothing else to do) and then reply with whatever comments you wanna make. the age of writing. the computer has brought it back. it's also revealed how stupid folks are and for those that do not use spell check....well, some people really need an intense course in spelling or read more so they can learn new words and learn to spell. of course i suppose that's part of the blogging romance is that you don't have to be anything close to literary or intellectual...you simple spit out what sounds good phonetically (see...did i spell that word right????) and you shit it out onto the screen.

i am bored. i am too tired to get out and face the public. it's been a tiring week. i played the songwriters night at davey's uptown ramblers club on Wednesday nite...didn't get to bed till 5AM....got up in time for work ....worked till noon and came home and slept the rest of the afternoon and evening. today was a good day. got my work done and got home by 3:30. the Kansas City Music Awards are a couple of streets over as i write at the Uptown theatre. Same ole shit every year. But if you happen to be nominated for a category, like i had been for the last four years till this one (thought i'd drop that in...cause i'm full of myself) then you actually for one night feel like you are a celebrity, like it's the Grammys. But really you are just a speck among all the specks. Pussies and Dicks getting stoned and drunk...dressing in thier sexy attire, drinking thier wine...making eye contact ...voyuering....looking at the storied chandeliers and the carved images that encircle the ceiling, the art work...it's all a beautiful backdrop for a fairytale night of make believe ....that KC is suddenly the glitz and glitter of Hollywood. Fun yes. Meaningless otherwise. i never won. but i had fun.

i guess i've said enough about the national attention that Sunrise In Reverse album has gotten for it's protest songs on Neil Young's Living With War Today on-line newspaper. I have three songs among the some three hundred protest Songs of the Times that made the site so far. it shows that there are a lot of artists out there that have a conscience and use thier art to make a statement against the Bush administration and the war. And i think it's awesome of Neil to provide a high profile site for the little known artists to get exposure. you can also submit Protest videos. some of those are really great. And then there's YouTube.....that's a great site.

okay. i'm done. thanks for all for putting up with my moods. i can be a moody SOB. I really stunk it out at Davey's. Not sure why. I always get demons when i go there and i feel i can't really shine...like i don't belong. i've gotta get over that. one problem is i wasn't comfortable in my skin and with the sound coming back at me and the audience seemed to be somewhere else and it didn't help that i was just aweful. oh well, some nights are that way.

i've been in a creative shit hole lately. and i have not been really coming up with lyrics. what do you say after "Sunrise In Reverse"? And i am not well. I feel pressure regarding my health. I gotta work to have insurance. and work becomes a parasite that sucks my creative energy dry. but you have to make money to live in this world or at least this society. and so if it means pulling back on music to stay employed and healthy....then that's what i'll do. I'm hoping for at least one more muse to give me one more album worth going in debt over. but the songs i have now...they are light, nothing really complicated...but i don't believe in them enough to go in debt to record them and put them on a cd. So, i wait. the muse...where is she? or is this game over?
spluuuuuge!

2006-08-07T20:22:00.000-07:00

posted by forrest 8/7/06

update on the Living With War top 200 protest songs on Neil Young's web-site. I was as high as 37 with Cocktails and Machine Guns, like a month ago...now i have slipped to number 109. So please go on and download and listen to C&MG's a lot so i can climb back up in the rankings. like it means anything. i'm just glad to have a teeeny weeny bit of recognition and from my idle to boot. shit ... to get that on Neil's site was one of the highlights of my life. I've been to about 15 Neil concerts in my lifetime. I probably no more Neil trivia than anyone in KC or the midwest for that matter. I read everthing i can get my hands on. neil literally taught me how to play guitar and write songs...that is, you play simple chords or make up chords no ones ever heard of and go with whatever moves your soul and you write from the same place...and there are periods in your musical life when it all comes together from somewhere unknown and you become a filter and you go crazy and spend a bunch of money to record albums that few people will buy...but who gives a fuck. it's my art. john bersuch once wrote in a song "everyone's got somethin' to say".... and i've said alot on six recordings and probably two more albums worth of recorded and unreleased stuff in the vault and then a half dozen more recordings i'd like to do.

but it's about time and money and energy and the muse. if the muse isn't there, the inspiration...then why do it? but all these songs strewn around now....they don't all quite fit together but i think i could put out a country fried album and then another rock one. but i really need to follow my passion. do i really really have to say this. and i really really want the next recording to be a group of songs i'll wanna play over and over again when i'm finished with it. i wanna like it and if i like it ,,,chances are the public will too.

maybe it's time to do a real live, jam out kind of record....with long extended vistas of musical magic, dis-ing the formulaic stuff...and going the jazz way of work outs....zen it....like jeff and i were talking about one night...get a groove and ride it like a wave. some of our live shows have gotten into that as the night has progressed and there's been no hurry with the venue (like Prosperos) and we just extended into wherever the vibe took us and we felt it from each other...and of course all this is cliche'....but not every band can do this...nor do they have the guts to do it....it's songwriting with words and a message that morphs into taking a quote unquote short story into a the equivalent of a steve Mcqueen set of lines...there are none...it's now just the screen presence, the action and in the case of music ... it's the instruments...that extend the short story into a novel without words....it becomes musicians as actors....fleshing out thier character through thier instruments, internal and external...it is the engagement of the audience into the production. cliche'....but few do it well...and maybe it's not so much about 'doing it well" as the actors/musicians having fun in the moment...possessed, unaware of themselves or anyone really except the space they are in...and the cast is one and the crowd is one with the cast...and they become inter change able or is it inner changeable....

bleep....i got carried somewhere there. i hope some folks read this shit. CSNY tour continues. the closest is St. Louis Sept 7th...which is a thursday...i may have to take off work and go. anyone wanna go? i understand they are rocking the world right now. and they should be in rocking chairs. go baby.

shows coming soon to the site. please check. and reply with a blog if you like. : ) f

2006-08-03T20:59:00.000-07:00

posted by forrest 8/3/06

beneath the pressure
i bend
the pressure of measure-ing
up
it builds every breathing moment
we are so alone
finally
and we are only worthy
if we contribute to the machine
the aweful machine
western society,
the united states of american society,
has built.
rush to work
rent goes up
work more
rent goes up more
move to another place
and then another
backward
trying to find a constant
rush
rush
rush
global warming
i hate summer
i hate the sun..anymore
everyone having to have the best
competition
fierce, unrelenting
non-profits my ass
the bottom line
the person has no value here
except as a provider or consumer of product
the mentally ill society
no value to the american way of life
provider of mentally ill services
sucked till we are dry
get the most out of us
pay us as little as possible
a labor of love
we expect to be low paid
rush to work
peel "help me" labels off foreheads
all day....
and on to the next one and the next one
but it never stops
and we keep rushing to work
moving from place to place to afford the rent
finding new facial lines every morning
slowing down to where we are too tired to exercise when we get home
home
it's not home....it's just a place to sleep till we rush back to work.
cynical...you bet i am
sardonic personality...it's developing at warp speed
there are no trains to take me away
to a small little town
where no one rushes around
where no one gives a damn if your rich or poor
fucked in the head
everyone blends in when the train pulls into the station
and welcomes you home
there's a bakery
there's a couple of oldsters widdling on the courthouse steps
there's hardly a car around
little girls and boys riding thier bikes
there's a shady lane
and the church bell chimes
"traveling light are ya young man?"
yes, i don't need much mister
all i need is right here
birds chirping
cattle grazing
takes me back
but i remember well enough to know this is how it should be
more or less
back where i'm from
well, you don't wanna know
clocks just run too fast back there
why, ya can hardly catch your breath...
the seasons there have gotten all crazy
hardly have winters anymore
expectations all around
no sittin' down where i'm from
you gotta rush here and there
there's cars everywhere and the summers with all that asphalt
and concrete buildings
folks stay inside most of the time...something wrong with the atmosphere
but i found this train leaving union station
i just jumped into a scene on a wall
and well here i am
"well son come right on along
we'll take our time
no quotas here
we all work together
play together
i hear you play a little guitar
well you'll fit right in
we have a campfire circle down on the river
you'll fit right in."

: (

2006-07-24T19:13:00.000-07:00

posted by forrest 7/24/06

what the hell is a "blog" anyway?
and has anyone heard of a new genre of music called "blog rock". someone accused neil young of being guilty of starting "blog rock" with his last album of hastily written and recorded music. it said it was like neil was blogging and just decided to unedit his blog and put some out of tune loud guitar fuzz to it. well hey, that's the way neil has written albums for most of his career.

kinda catchy..."blog rock". it's like punk only there's alot more words and it's supposed to be blatantly literal no poetic quality to it at all, just telling it like it is at the speed of cyberspace. and it's vitriolic alot of times. and when set to music ... it becomes alot like punk...simple chords...loud, distorted, chunky chords and only two or three of them...but they are not necessarily short...very wordy and only last until the words are done....no leads or music interludes. "blog rock" is the next big thing or it already is and i don't know about it. bloggggggg.

i'm suffering from alot of downs these days. all i wanna do is sleep. while awake i'm helping other people deal with thier barrel experience over the waterfall...floating around half alive not realizing how lucky they are to be alive. it's hard to see that when you're low. and at the same time i'm wanting to get back home, take my pills and disappear into oblivion for 8 or 10 or 12 hours. it's been a rough day. today i do not like my life. i wanna make myself and people feel good with my music. and i want to be creative all the time. and i wanna get out from under the man. i want life to be simpler. i wanna be hip and read and recognized....but it's all a roller coaster. big ideas, big plans, for music, for a mate....and then i mentally grow weary....it's too hard. i feel old. very old. and relatively speaking i am old and bound to feel this way the more i hang around a younger crowd. but there's really not much alternative with music. with the exception of playing for mom's and dad's in the burbs at borders who get out on a saturday to take thier kids to buy books (which i think that is awesome...there wasn't a bookstore when i was younger...it was called a library...but i had the bookmobile come by my house for that) i don't hang out or reach that crowd with my art. but when i do....they really like it....but there is still a gulf between us even though we are of the same generation.

it's cliche' to say for depressed, mentally ill folk ...that they "don't fit in". i've always had this same feeling when i've looked at elderly folk especially in the city, meeting them on the street or in the grocery store...they perhaps have so much to give ...were totally Mr and Ms hollywood good looks in thier day....but they don't look up when you pass....they don't acknowledge you are there... Is it because they are out of it or is it as i think that they are very much still "in it" but they know they are old and that old is not accepted in our society, like mentally ill folks.... Old people are looked on as anachronism....out of thier time...history....used to be's....and few realize (and i'm guilty) that they are one of our most precious resources for a rich historical perspective. retired. lots of time perhaps. perhaps willing to sit down and tell thier story, give thier perspective to some one of a younger , alot younger generation...or me, an increasingly not so younger generation.

my head is drooped and down today. i have little confidence. i know it's wrong thinkning. nevertheless, the chemicals in my brain have me held hostage. with enough rest....getting moved this weekend and organized ...perhaps i will feel good about myself again. sleep, without alcohol and cigarettes is crucial for me. and if i do the latter i need plenty of recovery time. i cannot drink during the week and expect not to go into the tank.

and finally, i am moving this weekend from a great (to me anyway) place to a 200 dollar less rent place which is not as great and spacious and comfortable, at least space wise as this place. i have not one freind i would feel comfortable "putting them out" to come help me move. i have four or five pieces of furniture that need moving down two flights and up 3. i am not enough of a friend to feel a comfort level ....to say..."i need help with moving". that's the great thing about having family close or church. they would help you out. but i don't. and so i will get my U-haul on Saturday at 1PM and one way or another i will move myself if it kills me. life is all about motion....you stop moving ....you die. maybe this is another attempt to stave off literal or figurative death. perhaps a muse awaits. and perhaps i need to cut off friendships that no longer serve thier purpose...to be a friend.

what do you think?..............Kansas City Fringe Festival this weekend. I'll see you at Kirk Hall at the downtown KC library from 6:30 till 8:30 on Friday....Rechelle Malin from Womego, Kansas...my dear longtime friend who is a great and i mean great songwriter and performer will be trading off songs with me. blog me. it's easy. i want some feedback. looooooot.

2006-07-22T21:14:00.000-07:00

posted by forrest on 7/22/06

i packed up my gear and headed to the corner bar around 8 to meet a friend before the show. this was last nite. it had been a long time since i had seen some of my former work friends. it was good to see julie and jody and steven and his friend angel. i probably had too many drinks before a show to really be sharp. but at any rate it was worth being a little ragged to hang with these guys.

so it's 10PM....time to load in and set up. john, clem and jeff arrive shortly after. by 10:40ish we have things set and i'm now in the bathroom putting on my cosmic space cowboy shirt with it's triangle shield buttoned onto the front of the shirt. all white...long tails and then my shiney face paint...metallic silver with black eye liner. oh shit i forgot my cosmic cowboy space sunglasses. oh well.

so the whole band is in the bowels of prospero's, the venue we are playing tonight...waiting to go on stage. being the center of my own attention...i go out first...as the lights go dim...the crowd is awaiting...and launch into a rather slow somewhat ragged version of Smell The Shine On My Brain. as soon as i finish the band joins me and we launch into Cocktails and Machine Guns....and the night is underway.

A very friendly crowd and atmosphere. the seats are full...people are standing...and we are singing facing out the big windows of Prospero's onto 39th street...the door is open and almost as many folks are outside as inside. but they can hear. even though we're acoustic .... perhaps we were a bit too loud.

well i tried to put every bit of my soul into the performance. it's probably the only time (except of sex and sports) that i truly become one with the subject matter or try to anyway. music is a passionate thing for me. the songs i write have to mean something, trite as that may sound. but really i write songs alot...but they only endure to completion, real completion...like, remembered, played out, and eventually recorded if they ring true in my soul. the reason i like Neil Young so much....and Beck and Elloitt Smith is because they write from their soul....and they perform and record from thier soul. and the lyrics and music could not carry the weight they do without the passion of the deliverer. whether music or whatever we do in the world...there is a uniqueness to the expresssion we give that no one else can replicate. some might say "well, thank god...i wouldn't wanna replicate that shit". so be it. you don't have to worry buddy.

anywiser....we played for two hours with a break in between. john didn't get back in for the Ingrid song in time to do the drum outro. oh well, i forgive you john. thanks to jodi and marcia for being there. and in the haze of the tunnel vision before the show i recall hearing jon bidwell say hello...and i saw callandra and kaite.......and many many more. Tracy Rockwell was in the house. Tracy is the most awesome roadie/manager ever...he comes to all my shows at Prospero's...makes sure i have lighting i need...helps load in and out...helps with sound....tracy you are awesome man. tracy also sells the cds and passes the hat. we made really decent money last nite. cool...though that's just icing on the cake....i would play at prospero's for just the beer and the family feeling.

so...let me know how you like the show. feedback.
i love all of you. i don't get to talk to all of you that come....but i would like to. it's such a wonderful thing to play music and have a good time with other people doing it, both on stage and in the audience. it's the interactive thing that makes the energy of a performance so intoxicating. very sexual/sensual.

and the sidewalk games afterwards...was so much fun. about 12 of us played sherades till 3 in the morning. and that homemade wine was sooooooooo good. if you two sisters read this...i would like some more of your wine. deeeeeeefinItely. plink. eeeep. namaste.

2006-07-19T20:00:00.000-07:00

posted 7/19/06 by forrest

i'm numbed out on work and medicine. i feel like i need to get in bed. but i thought i would post a journal entry. we've got a show coming up on friday at prosperos. whether it's just me or with the band ...playing on 39th street is the best. it's really unique to prosperos in KC. people bring in thier own beer or wine or whiskey or smoke (well they have to smoke outsiide...but you can still hear the music) and cram in and listen to some great songwriting and musicians. i'm anxious to get jeff harshbarger in there on friday and have him experience the Prospero's mind bend. after some of clem's whiskey and a few beers we'll be hitting the groove. i'm gonna have to do without my regular geetar...as it's in the shop. i'll be playing my old black acoustic yamaha. and i borrowed cody wyomings guit-fiddle just in case i needed an extra. ok. this is all boring. i just want to communicate with you all out there. this is forrest whitlow. i care about the world. i care about the planet. i care enough to speak up and say i'm against the war and i wish all our troops were home. and that's all i'm gonna say. we'll be playing a couple of political songs on friday. but mostly with this crowd i'll be preaching to the converted. we need more folks with thier art to speak up, speak out against injustice whereever it occurs. my job during the day is to advocate for the mentally ill and help them get the things they need to live and squeeze by on the poverty level. it sucks to be poor. it sucks to have to live from disabilitiy check to disability check. i try to get across the importance of trying to volunteer, work part time, or socialize to my clients. it does as much for thier mental well being as med therapy i think...contributing, making some of your own money, being around normal society, being with folks that know what you are going through. my next album ...i really want to focus on making it positive without being trite...positive that change though slow can happen...especially for such a marginalized population as those who have chronic mental problems. they have alot to contribute. so corporate america...open your ears and eyes. mr president...get a clue. governor...you could help make such a difference in the economy if you gave more money to helping the mentally ill get work and still retain thier insurance. don't make these mutually exclusive. ok. so now i have this blog thing. so if you wanna respond....blog away. and let me know if it's easy or hard to comment. peace....and hope to see you at a show soon. buy forrest whitlow records...pleeeeez. need money to make another record. : )

2006-07-16T20:07:00.000-07:00

diary entry 7/16/06

After a touch of fame, i feel the same. Neil young is awesome to put up little specks like moi on his website. I'm sure all of you have heard that i got "Cocktails & Machine Guns" on Neil Young's web-site where he's been asking for protest songs as well as protest videos of the current Presidential administration and the Iraqi war. I submitted one of my socially conscious songs off "Sunrise In Reverse" and he picked "Cocktails" and so 1000's of people are potentially listening to my song. kick ass. I was so happy. and the longer it stays up there and the more people listen to it...well who knows. it's just a good thing to happen for exposure nationally and internationally.

So anywiser...we had a great show Friday nite at the IceHouse here in KC. We played with a great band called The Ants and a band from Des Moines called Why Have Clocks. They both rocked my socks off but in a Americana good way....great lyrics, melodies and sound. Clocks steel player was like Ben Keith....smooth and tastey as hell.

well i hope you read before next Friday...The Pickles play at Prosperos. WE start at 10ish and play till probably 2AM. We've been known to do that. Hope to see you all then. spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaank.

2006-07-13T07:19:00.001-07:00

Posted by Forrest 6/16/06:

dispossessed of even the energy of madness.

despite an intention of well meaning cranial reruns
the depiction on the screen of my optic nerve
swam me into a tired hypnotismo-state that resisted
even the strongest arm in this ones possession
i fell, in spite of self, into the most hideous...
yet delectible pre-summer eve slumber...possessing the phantom lover of Chopin's Nocturnes playing in my memory from the bloody skid
home from a place called Independence not more than an hour before.
i had no will against the wall of "shutdown".
god is the "shutdown" and we run from it all our living suns and moons.
tiredness...running dry...the "shutdown" is proof that god exists.
me and thee are slave to it...as is everyone whether admitted or no.
upon awaking to write this piece
i took note of this flesh and its lack of resolve...its tired blood...sardonic blood.
it is the first sign.

if god will not show himself, well by god we'll create one ourselves!

2006-07-13T07:19:00.000-07:00

Posted by Forrest 6/16/06:

dispossessed of even the energy of a madness
i tried to don the vestments of a bygone clarity that seemed to go somewhere
and keep the blood bubbling.
but i settled into a captured fuzzy awareness that bygone is gone and somewhere never existed for the plans i fall incapable of making now.
fuzzy. i trapes around the landscape like an amorphous breather...clouding and cluttering the window sill of all that have slid into indulging prolonged Sharpie wiffs.
madness has slipped into sedation.
it was quite a prolific period when the sap flowed freely and without effort the river minded its banks. oh sure there were cans delivered empty of any content. but the liquid flowed when it did, and how.
resting.
slowing down.
the smell of youth.
the Jekyl-Hyde.
the uneven-ness.
fits of internal dialogue that bleeds into the public airwaves.
torrets' fits of salty language...scatter shot without restraint.
"did i say that out loud?"
release from caring
dissembling...hiding behind a smile, or a smirk.
"i'll be the demon today...act crazy, and they'll leave you be."
act crazy. you are crazy with all your dissembling.
not you. anyone.
no not anyone. some.
yes, everyone eventually.
ah, thee Shakespeare. the language...the rich language of theatre. the masks. the hyperbole. the dissembling. the metaphor. the symbol. the madness.
"no beast so fierce that doth not show some touch of pity. i have none and therefore am no beast." worse, you are human.
the night has fallen onto the day.
the week is running into its end.
another is predicted beyond dubious-ness, a veritable lead pipe cinch, to begin again right on time.
and together...like 7 well oiled cogs...they turn with the least amount of friction that a creator would allow and picking up speed for each unit as the suns and moons accumulate on the biological calendar...there reaches a diminishing point and the "shutdown" is near....for even the creators best cogs reach thier limit and the best oils cannot prevent the friction that eventually wears out the unit and brings it to rust and rest in eternal corrosion. unless you believe in recycling.

if you don't have anything sunny to say then write morbid, cryptic blogs to random folks on your mail list. shit stains. especially bloody shit. its mark is indelible. don't underestimate the time that's been wasted. it is profound. and it is the penultimate last frontier...the dreams of id, banks of data that continues to return in sleep.The lost, wasted, blank stare muddling, piddling upsidedown. there are acres and acres of it to be mined from the salvage yards of our lives. i know my waste has been marked.
that's why art is often looked on as pissing in the wind.
catapillars are the last vestige of a perfect creature.

and willows wept.
and some of them slept.
and i commenced to end this writing.

2006-07-13T07:18:00.000-07:00

Posted by Forrest 4/3/06:

i wanna thank all of ya's for coming out to the Brick saturday nite. thanks to jody for the merch display (awesome job...i love it...it looked beautiful and we sold zero cds...sneeep.) with all the cds on an artful merch board for people to peruse. And also thanks to doug for making the pickle t-shirts. everyone liked them. someone even stole one. sweet. i owe you doug and jody.

and thanks to everyone who came out. kristin, you looked fabulous. nicki, i love your shirt. and the crazy ones...steph, heather, malinda and austin (thanks for taking pics at the show austin.) kelly you seem so happy.

special thanks to john and jeff for playing thier asses off. the show was intense and a blast. those baby dills were a real hit. and it was a wonderful treat to see the tuna helpers for the first time live. loved them and the music mixed with the theatre. very entertaining. and all the girls were so beautiful, and costumed and Khattie rocked on drums. yes. nice talking to you guys. hope to see you down the road again.

so forrest and the pickles brought the sound of the pickle man to the brick. and as a farmer once said "that was more fun than jar full of gerkens!".

missed ya clem.

sheri thanks for having us play at your very hospitable establishment. and missy...thanks for liking "I love my feet".

god why do ya get so down after a show? if i could just play like maybe two nites on and one off...that would be perfect for my psyche. i mean good shows, like sat where people show and have a good time.

i need a woman. yes.

2006-07-13T07:17:00.002-07:00

Posted by Forrest 3/31/06:

hey people. i did my last borders cafe gig tonight for a while. thanks Olathe. And thanks to all the good folks at borders whether in Wichita or Omaha or St. Louis...everyone has been accomodating and nice. and thanks to Loni for booking me in so many places. I'll take a break and i'll be back soon...hopefully with a new recording.

right now the big thing is the new revolving door backing band The Pickles. Jeff Harshbarger has been playing bass, John Bersuch on drums, and DJ Clem on guitars, mandolin and steel. Laurel Morgan subs in at times with violin. And Scott Mize is gonna do a gig or two. Hopefully, we can keep the core together. I'm always available...but these other guys have thier own projects and if i don't get good paying gigs...well if you are a musician ya gotta go where the money is. i understand these things.

we played The Cup And Saucer...me, clem, jeff and john...and we kicked ass. it was a great show. so hopefully we can keep this core together.

ok. things suddenly happen and they can just as suddenly un-happen. so FW&TP are for now. we'll see how long it goes. the music rocks. everybody gets along. so it's a recipe for major fun and making millions of myspace friends. blah.

later...f

2006-07-13T07:17:00.001-07:00

Posted by Forrest 3/24/06:

anywho...

the nuts and pickles are: we are doing all forrest whitlow music from a dozen newly written tunes and then selections from all six forrest albums. boring eh?

Some shows will be three sets that we do...so i've got the songs and the cds to sell. we will be wearing pickle shirts and eating pickles between songs. otherwise the songs'll have to carry the interest. we are not a gimmick. we are not funny. we just play passionately till they say "nichte".

Beck, Neil Young, Luna, Merle Haggard, Amie Mann, Concrete Blonde...all influences. this lineup will be mostly acoustic and we will bring the country/folk/pop/rock fusion thing pretty heavy. it will all be PG rated. some pickle references. nothing lude. no never.

namaste,
forrest

2006-07-13T07:17:00.000-07:00

Posted by Forrest 3/23/06:

we are evolving. Forrest Whitlow and The Pickles are a take on the pickle farmer. he/she (the pickle man) loves the cucumber and the transformative pickle as a snack in itself or an addition to grilled cheese sandwiches (sweet or dilll) or any other all-american sandwich. pickles crunch and stimulate a pleasure principle in the brain that beyond the taste make eating pickles a party in the soul. it is an oft under appreciated vegetable that makes eating soft cheezy, meaty food subconsciously or consciously incomplete without. So the music is pickle music. basic. yet undeniably soulful and fundamental to the land and soil from which the cucumber grows becoming pickles in a jar, arriving onto a plate, on a table from which all of us partake. Passion. Pickle passion. It is the country. Music from the soul. The soul of the pickle farmer, he or she. it is the music that comes from the soil to the jar to our taste buds. Americana. Folk. The south. Anywhere that people work the land, grow old, and live in offsetting the necessary pain of existence with the pleasure that the pickle man brings. i've lived it and live it and the music will tell a story that resonates with anyone who has experienced the bitter and the sweet. it's the real thing baby.....i.e., there is no substitute for The Pickle. la da.

namaste,
forrest

2006-07-13T07:16:00.001-07:00

Posted by Forrest 1/31/06:

nothing profound. just wanted to thank everyone for hanging out at the recent shows. i had a great time at Lees Summit playing with my friend Scott Mize a couple of weeks ago. Scott played alot of the lead guitar stuff on my "Patch of Blue" album. he showed up at Lees Summit Borders and made it an extra swell evening. thanks to all that bought cds or just came out to listen. Special thanks to Dwight. I played Olathe and two shows in Omaha this past weekend. thanks to Brianne and Keith for coming out. Long time. And thanks to Steph and Bobby for coming and bringing a couple of friends. and long time since i saw you joe.

Omaha was fantastic and the Cafe people were especially nice. thanks Sarah for getting me a smoke. and to doug for guessing a cover i did and for the money.

okay.

i'm off this weekend but go to Wichita next. so see you guys there.

i don't know where this road will take me but i'm going for as long as it goes.

i cashed in my savings and paid off my car and my credit card. i just need to make more money. i still have rent and medical bills to pay. everyone has thier story. so that's a rap!

later.

2006-07-13T07:16:00.000-07:00

Posted by Forrest 1/11/06:

and the right of passage was wrong. and the battles in her head were winter long. and everything was open. and that in itself was a prison to her. and this is my life. i am her. she is trying desperately to find the limits of her freedom. space is a scary place. time is uncertain. so many choices. and then what are her qualifications? it's a head phase clouded by people and drugs and demons. the gods have not spoken. there is no writing in the sky. wait, wait, wait for the wave of the tide to determine her fate. does anyone really have a choice? every move, every breath, every taco, every disrupted sleep, every word, every bowel movement, every bill, every call, every encounter, every smile, every smirk, every cloudy day, every smell, every change in the weather, every memory, every pain, every loss, every love, every cross to bear...it all attaches to her motion and makes it's blanket of involuntary, subconcious, conscious decision and she begs for guidance but in her uniqueness (for no one else walks in her shoes, nor would it be possible) the vastness of her history predetermines her fate.

it is no secret why gradations of insanity break the spirit of so many. we are a bag of bones and flesh with chemicals floating in a sea of life's natural turbulence. some grab a hand. some lean on a shoulder. co-dependently they weather thier way as far as they can. as far as they can until thier life's breath is expended. and they leave whatever legacy behind for whomever gives a royal rats ass to remember them on.

but don't give up hope. it's the way things are and always will be. men and women consciously or no, trying to live on forever. thank you god and religion for offering an afterlife. the hell of this one must surely justify such a fantasy.

thanks to bobby and steph for coming to the show on friday at Borders and for the beers and conversation afterwards. you guys made my evening. and thanks to all that attended whom i don't know and for lisa buying a cd.

hope where there is no hope. believe even against unbelief. there will be better days. and for some of you, that can only mean the best days. for others it will simply be survival.

namaste.

2006-07-13T07:15:00.001-07:00

Posted by Forrest 12/12/05:

someone once said "life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the breaths that take your breath away." one of those breathless moments was Saturday night at Prospero's. thanks to all of you who came out. i hope it was as pleasureable for you as it was for me.

my good friend DJ Clem played hauntingly beautiful steel guitar on the second set. the crowd was super as usual and thanks to Will and Tom for opening their venue for the show. And thanks to Jon Bidwell for documenting the event via photography. People old and new in attendance. It was very therapeutic for me.

Sunrise In Reverse has been packing its weight on my soul since i recorded it and released it in August. Somehow I associate it with my illness, as i became sick shortly after the release and had to cancel several shows in October. This was my first show since September and it felt good. it was a sort of exorcism.

My life is taking an unexpected turn. Nothing lasts forever as we all know to well. but i suppose you never expect it until it happens. and so...........onward. changes are in order. everyone has their story. shedding another layer of skin...and revealing what's always been lying under-neath. i don't know what holds for me..........but i'm hoping for better.

see you all soon...hoping for another breathless moment.

2006-07-13T07:15:00.000-07:00

Posted by Forrest 12/4/05:

Clemmie!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i genuinelly like clemmy....the webmaster and designer for my site, and an awe-always musician. Gawd the times we had. Me freakin on jazz electric guitar and sax and of course my locally reknowned Peter Frampton-esce vocals and sex appeal, clem on the upright and electric bass, plus kickass rock guitar on Land of X, as well as smiggens of Jews harp and electric spoons ( "X" compared to Nirvana's "Bleach" by rolling stone mag. weird they hooked onto "X" and dee local scene totally ignored it.... i threw "X" out like frisbees one night at the conclusion of a gig at the late Benders club).

And then john beeeeeeeeeersuch on drums and rocksy fartsy stage props and a special way he snorted on the vocoder. talented monkey. god the beautiful feedback before the sinus surgery. that ended that.

anyway..........my point...............i'm listening to "Cure For Pain" as i write. that was "The Crash" 's fave preshow soundtrack at a cool place in Columbia Mo...Music Cafe. Whatever or however tired we got of this record (every goddam time we were there for two years it was this record on the pre-show) i still hold in...well, i like it. i'm sorry clem and john but if i could write and play songs like Morphine i would be, no we would be the shit. or would have been.

ok...............well enough for nostalgia. the only reason i reference...is because i spent a couple of hours with a couple of my favorite strange-guys tonight. we watched some old social, familial, and personal ettiqiette public service films, like from the 50's and 60's. funnier than diaerrha in white spandex. with some expensive "rock mogul request" brews down the hatch, plus two and two thirds larrrrrrrrrghs a piece and we were going to the toilet to piss. maybe that was the Chimay.

splooooooooog. sticky. nasty boy. buy "no scent pants"................really, go to google,...............rip the ripest cheezer ever and the pants obliterate the smell in a matter of half seconds. at least that's what they say on the ad. sweet. removes ths stink-ey repulsive bodily gas blasts and ostensibly groin and nooky oder. not sure about the latter. but if i could get control of my groin and ass oder, well, with my quantifiable local star celebrity...then i might be able to corral some nice booty who's not wearing those smell squelching pants..........known again as "Get Rid of Rauchy Fart and Groin Smell Instantly" pants. Search. I know a couple of, ehhhhhhhhhhh..."i'm a scene-ster but whats that smell" guys.

ok. December 10, 2005...............unless i've destroyed my voice by then, i'll be doing the tradional "back from the 'i'm dead mister'" concert that usually follows rodk star rehab after a near fatal choking incident. hey, an aside: chicken is very dangerous. don't think you've got swallowing the chicken down. i've seen one too many chicken fingers at parties go down the wrong way. the clean up isn't pretty. snink. So yeah i'll be playing at Prosperos Bookstore near KuMed, 39th and Bell. Can't wait.

ok..............i'm drilled. Cork me.
f

2006-07-13T07:14:00.000-07:00

Posted by Forrest 11/22/05:

ok. here i am again. and i hope some of you are those religious types for the forrest diary fix........hanging on every word. actually, i hope you are not. it's just nice to know that other than my webmaster (oh clemmy!) there's two or three others of you who give a shit about what i say. i have this forum and by garsh...........i'm gonna use it. but not to preach..mmmm yes preach...........and pontificate the state of me, my music, the scene, and living in this wierd mixed up "if your not for us your against us" state, government.

oh i know. we have it pretty good here. and i have no clue about the brutality of war and the courage and discipline of those who have kept our freedoms through the decades. i am very thankful. but sometimes it seems more obvious than others that the justifications for sending our men and women off to battle are specious at best. no since in rehash here.

we are a rich rich nation. we are so fortunate to be bordered by oceans to protect us. up until Bush's "fuck you i'll do it anyway" we had most of Europe to form our United Nations. not so long ago.......hitler bucked the system, mass extermination of innocent peoples proceeded. hitler was a little man who had little going for him except he was a classic possessed personality, my way guy, a black and white guy, straight stiff methodical shoulders and walk, no swinging of the arms, tight (remind you of anyone?)..........

what are we doing? are the Arabs........(the Iraqies in particular).......though it's not overt and though it's not orchestrated and methodical (or is it?)............are not we being dictator over thier liberties to shape thier country as we wish..................alot of civilians have died at our hands. Bush is a puppet dictator. and will remain so till the public wakes up and or leaves office. and for much that he has done while in office........well it is too late to mend.

What ever happened to capturing Bin Laden? Did OJ ever find the killer? Mass murder orchestration and you are deemed commander and chief. Kill a few by order and you're Charles Manson. Is CM any more crazy than Bush? who has the most blood on thier hands? oh right OJ's gloves shrunk from the blood.

ok. i'm feeling better.

i've written and revised several new songs..........around ten. i'm anxious to play them out. they are more upbeat i think. and if i can find the money.........come feb or march of 06 i can record them. looking for a lead guitar and steel player, a banjo player, and a fiddle player. most of the songs are in a country folk roots type category i think.

oh and i'm gonna get up some unreleased songs on this site as mp3s that you can download for free. and i also plan on putting out as a two song disc with a bonus track the recorded tracks for the Sunrise sessions that didn't make it on. there were two: Harrison Bergeron and Politics of Nature aka As The Crow Flys. and the bonus track is a song i wrote in poland called Warsaw. it's a haunting song about the poles being transported to Auschwitz...........beautifully recorded by John Bersuch.

hopefully all my above music dreams come true and there'll be more FW out there for you to hear..........and hopefully it'll be worth hearing.

finally.........my philosophy is that we are all animals........perhaps sophisticated beyond the beaver (perhaps not.........though it seems to be) and yet we are prone to the instincts and laws of the jungle as the most vicious beast of prey. our sophistication is in our weaponry, our propoganda, our covert persuasion while turning the blade we've so deftly slipped into the back of our straw enemy. it is my natural inclination or instinct if you will to hate hate and war.......and to seek peace. but in the right circumstances i would embrace hate and fight to the death or order someone else's son or daughter to do the same. there will always be idiots like Bush who can't help himself. it's how he's wired. but we are also wired predeterminately in a sense, you and me...the anti-bush-ers! and perhaps, no for sure........this is what keeps the world from destroying itself outright. it takes all kinds. it takes a world to make a world, to save a world...no to save it's "sophisticated life forms".

is the balance so delicate. so delicate that something massive could destroy millions of animals like you and me by the accidental dropping of intelligence into the sinister, less responsible, less sophisticated, less human-itarian hands than we Americans? only the vigilant can hope to bring the balance. perhaps bush did us good by eliminating a 'bad man'. but his reasoning..........it is clear .....this bad man was the wrong man. and it will take many years to right this wrong. for much of the world it seems...........bush is the "bad man". 3 bad men. Kill alot they make you a president, a dictator, a terrorist czar.

finally i leave you with this. edward r morrow or is it murrow: anyway, as an aspiring journalism major in college......i idolized murrow. i read about him and listened to many of his broadcasts from the war as bombs could be heard in the background. i was in a library. but i wanted to be murrow in London. he was awesome. i saw Goodnight and Goodluck the other night. Don't think McCarthyism is dead. good movie. "tooth and the claw, jaw and the beek, kill to live and live to repeat".........natural selection.........politics of nature. goodnight and goodluck........

2006-07-13T07:13:00.001-07:00

Posted by Forrest 11/17/05:

well, i went in the hospital again on 11/05/05 will a temp of 102.7 and a 6 cm abcess in my abdomenal cavity as a complication from my surgery in October. They had to drain the sucker and put me on heavy duty anti-biotics via an IV in the hospital. i was there until Sunday 11/13/05. Now i'm at home giving myself IV antibiotics. i feel like a drugy with this mid-line port in my right arm...pierced right down in the muscle....and that's where i feed the drug 3 times a day.

i just got that ugly stupid drain suction receptical out of my gut yesterday. god what a relief to have that nasty thing out. i feel so much more human now. and i'm hoping to get this IV out of my arm tomorrow.

it has been quite a year. i did the album that i wanted to do and it's out there and i'm gettting good reviews. thank all of you for supporting my music. that has been a true highlight of the year. good people like john bersuch, clem, e.clark, rechelle, and laurel...you all were so good to me and poured out your talent so amazingly on SIR. and then on the down side my health has been the pits...3 times in the hospital, and one major surgery. i'm very thankful that i'm alive and that i have good friends. and i pledge to be a better friend to all of you out there. sometimes i fall into my own world. i have a lot of love and i intend to give more of it. and music...........music is in me and i willl continue to seek it's healing power. there are alll kinds of notes floating in the air....all sorts of things to be said...some with words some not....

let the drum speak, let the keyboard persuade, let the violin bring to tears, let the banjo and the bass spawn the happy dance, let the rap, rap the truth.............it's all music john....and some are meant to change minds and mobilize the masses, and some are meant to bring levity, merriment......and take us to that emphemeral state. it's not all politics. it's not all lead pipe serious. it's all of this. it's heaven, it's hell, it's earth, it's sky. DanderCroft...............long live your beauty. for you have been and are a breath of fresh altoids. let all the music be heard. let all the feelings be felt. In time, in time. : )

2006-07-13T07:13:00.000-07:00

Posted by Forrest 11/04/05:

it's friday nite and i'm living in a cloud of speculation trying to venture what a life is worth. I've had a lot more time lately to read and watch the news. This CIA thing with Libby (Scooter...just doesn't seem like a name for a politician) and Rove and the plummeting Bush public opinion polls, it's pretty interesting....

Finally, maybe this will wake up the stupid American public that Bush hasn't a clue, that the Iraq war was wrong and deceitfully sanctioned, that there were never any WMD, that going to war and continuing with street fighting there is futile and only producing a climate of Terrorism where the Bin Laden's of the world are using it as a training ground for organized thuggery.

Unfortunately, it will eventually come back to haunt our country. I'm pretty ashamed to be an American. I've traveled quite a bit the last 6 years to Europe. Frankly i didn't relish the idea of disclosing where i was from. Therefore i didn't say a word...not that i could speak the languages anyway. (Hink. i just remember walking through the streets of Katewieca, Poland one night after getting off the train, no one was out except these 3 guys walking the opposite way and yelling to me "you fucking American" over and over.)

We, Americans are so caught up in our daily lives, with our amusements, that we leave it to others to make political decisions for us rather than making our leaders accountable. Those of us who are into the music scene are majorly guilty. The feeling i get from most musicians, bands, music fans here in town...is: let's party, have some upbeat dance "don't get me down" music that has zero social consciousness, get plastered, fuck some trophy chic/boy from the bar, be cool, be seen, be heard, but don't vote, don't do anything to make a difference, don't write letters to your congress person, or your city leaders, don't speak out........just have some laughs, talk some bullshit, listen to some mindless "entertainment" that makes me think as little as possible. Yeah, the stupidy starts young.

And what about our music publications and writers in town. Do you ever get anything of substance in those publications. Has Dandercroft ever had an article or a music review that tried to be of any political significance? When was the last time the Pitch took either local or national releases seriously for what they were trying to say politically. All my records have had serious subject matter they were trying to address to one degree or another, especially the latest Sunrise In Reverse. Did anyone take it seriously and review it in a politically conscious way? No. Dandercroft doesn't get it. The Pitch doesn't...nor does The Star. The only folks that get it are individuals, mostly under the radar artists and radio people that write me and let me know how right on politically this album is and how few others even attempt to say something socially intelligent through music. I think it's sad. But maybe the local entertainers know that politics and music don't bring people to the party. And the bars want the party to be standing room. So bring on the Pornhuskers.

Anyway, I hope Bush and Co. get their ass kicked. it's really a shame. Let's don't be idiots. Have a good time but have a brain too! Who in the fuck am i talking to? Hmmm. I hope it's you.

2006-07-13T07:12:00.001-07:00

Posted by Forrest 11/02/05:

i am very sleepy. i've been taking percocet for pain and it makes me very sleepy. well Sunday will mark exactly one month since my 3rd abdomenal surgery. I am on the mend and getting stronger. i did have an infection in my zipper that required a doc's attention last Friday. so the healing has been slowed a bit.

been trying to enjoy life a bit more. i got cable TV for the first time in over a decade and it's already turning my brain to mush and i've stopped reading. i may have to get rid of it once i get well again and start spending less time at home. but i've been thinking maybe i should spend more time in solitude and not be always on the go. perhaps that contributed to my gut problem?????????? who knows really. i'm waiting for some creative moments to hit me, but i'm not there yet. i've had a couple of song ideas but the more i play them the more they sound shitty.

my life is pretty boring when you exclude the drama of hospitals, nurses, doctors and surgery. i got my first bill from just the hospital. Over 50K. yay. and that doesn't include all the doctors and the surgeon. thank god for insurance.

i've been trying to take Warren Z's advice (the late Warren Z) "enjoy every sandwich". i've been getting off on grilled cheese squares of late with chips and Sprite and sweet pickles. sometimes i add tomato soup to all that. very simple. very tasty. very therapeutic. Warren's got a point. food is good. little everyday things are important. pay attention. smell the saline.

i love the smell of hospitals. i reminds me of the smell of nurse uniforms, and IV food, and steriods, and versed and demerol and morphine and benedryl and bandages and blood and sheets and pillow cases and broth and less than average first meals...........and getting better. it has to smell like getting better or one is doomed. and i also recall those NG tubes, flim, and those breathing apparatus things.

i am sleepy. good night.

2006-07-13T07:12:00.000-07:00

Posted by Forrest 10/31/05:

today is halloween. and i'm stuck in my apartment, numbed up on percocet and recovering from gut surgery. i started getting sick this time on September 27th. my stomach started to imitate an oak tree being "firewooded" by a giant chainsaw. i knew it was the same old rowdy "friend" i've felt so many times before, so i sped off to the ER and by midnight a nurse was threading tubing down my nose, throat and into my stomach to suck it clean and keep "stuff" from coming back up the wrong way.

they put me in a room at St. Joseph Medical Center and 3 weeks later ....i got to eat real food and go home. in between they carved out 14 inches of my small bowel and resectioned it back together...leaving healthy bowel again. this is my 3rd resection and it gets harder to come back each time. i'm always lusting so much after food (they feed you white stuff and clear stuff through and IV the entire time...i lost 20 pounds) that by the time i'm allow to eat again, chicken broth (yuk) becomes like this delicacy and it tastes so good (yeah i know...pretty sick stuff). anyway, i had my share of pain medicine. that and the good nurses kept me on the mend.

i got a little crazy one night, that is, out of my head from the anesthesia...and i pulled the tube out of my nose, throat and stomach. i hardly remember doing it. but i sure remember the gagging, dry heaving, unpleasantness of the nurse forcing it back down again. i didn't do that anymore.

my voice has been really weakened by the entire process. i've got this 8 inch incision in my belly that is sore and weak and can't stand the stress of lifting or singing for the next 6 weeks or so. so i'm pretty much done with performing for the remainder of the year.

what caused all this? well i have a condition called Crohn's disease. And multiple surgeries is not uncommon. Except this surgery was more to address a complication from past surgeries, i.e. scarring and adhesions rather than active disease. So basically these growths wrapped around my bowel and balled it up into a tangled mess and cut off the flow if you will. and so the surgeon simply had to cut on each side of this mess and remove it and then splice back together.

sooooooooooooo....

take care of your shitter equipment. shower every day. eat your beets. avoid 28 ounce steaks. and don't ever shake a shaker at a funeral. happy halloween...and thanks to everyone who mailed and voiced their concern. i appreciate it greatly. and please pass on the good word about Sunrise In Reverse. i really believe word of mouth can get SIR the wider audience it deserves. otherwise it's just sitting in boxes or at digital distribution companies while Britany and Jessica conquer the world with pussy pop. and how can you blame 'em.

2006-07-13T07:11:00.000-07:00

Posted by Forrest 08/19/05:

sunrise in reverse was officially released tonight or last nite as i'm writing. as clarke stated "we stuck a fork in the new cd tonight".................meaning, i suppose, that we "nailed it". and we did. it was fun. Clarke, laurel, john and I had a blast and all there seemed to as well. it's weird finishing something, well not just something.........a good piece of music.........working on it for 5 months.......getting it packaged, the artwork etc., and then having the grand opening and then it's over. now the work begins and the fun too..........but alot of work to sell this sucker which basically for a truly independent artist means gigging out the ass and promoting yourself as much as possible. the latter of which i don't do so well.

anyway.............thanks to everyone who ventured out in the monsoon. we had over 50 people there and the setting was perfect. thanks to prospero's bookstore, to will and tom for all the promotion, and to john bersuch for putting out the word, making flyers and to tracy rockwell for the beautiful candle. and........thanks to those who played on the album that didn't make it to the show...........dj clem and rechelle malin

keep in touch all that read this. and get out the word that this is music people should consider buying...so i can sell enough to make another one. and if anyone out there wants to help with promotion or the business side of things on a "for the love of the music" basis (as in volunteer), shoot me an e-mail. i could use the help. see ya down the road.................

2006-07-13T07:10:00.000-07:00

Posted by Forrest 05/01/05:

the record........is almost completed. we're listening to the mix and the order of songs right now and letting it sit for a couple of weeks (while E.Clarke is on tour with the HABMX)....making some notes and then we'll put final edits if any are needed........and then master and then to the presses.

sounds pretty darn good. hopefully, if we get all this done and the art work and to the printers by early june.............we'll have a product by the end of june or early July.

i'm still struggling with the title............."sunrise in reverse" sounds like a slight front runner right now...............................we'll see. thanks so much to all you who read this and come to the web-site and the shows. i hope some press will get even more excitement building for this unusual affecting record........i really believe it is a present glimpse into pre/post-history (the big bang is in retraction isn't it?)...when all has fallen into disrepair.......inside and outside. it is inevitable. Pride and dominance and predation and excess always exact a price whether it be individuals or empires like ours.

i hear the implosion already. and i fear for the "Next Generation".

so much for seriousness. i'll be checking in sooner or later..........letting you know the state of things. and i hope i meet you somewhere along the way. : ) forrest

2006-07-13T07:09:00.000-07:00

Posted by Forrest 10/08/04:

..........and i was at my computer. and i was really tired. and i was thinking about all the people. and i was thinking about what they'd like to hear. and i was thinking about the music in my head. and i was wonderin' about the music we are doing.......... and sometimes you don't take into account what influence your music has on people. does anyone give a crap? is anyone affected? is anyone changed?

i've got some upbeat songs we are doing for the next recording. and typical of forrest i've got some downers........but with a message. well they all say something. but i'm struggling to put together a collection of tunes that will satisfy, challenge, and entertain all at the same time. anyway................so far.........................here are some names of tunes:

"mom's always rockin' the cradle"
"danny got bit last nite"
"tanks are for kids"
"give me three reasons to continue stealing your oxygen"
"it hurts to see you leave the lid up"
"there'll be hell to pay when jesus returns"
"fog (god's got a stage show now)"
"rake me over the coals one more time why dontchee"
"i got lost on my way to the latrine"
"momma didn't nurse me (and that's why i'm this way)"

it's a pretty good collection. some rock. some are more country fried. anyway...........be looking out for the fw&tc in future days. we'll either come up with an album of new stuff or we won't. meantime...........ya might wanna get checked for those dried raisin crystals calcifyin' in your hind parts. i suggest a fleet enema.

leotard!

2006-07-13T07:08:00.000-07:00

Posted by Forrest 10/08/04:

leotard!

2006-07-13T07:07:00.000-07:00

Posted by Forrest 08/27/04:

...........yeah, hinkhhhhhhh.......and we were practicin' last nite when clem started playin' this celtic riff on da bass and singing in a Irish pirates' brogue..."and now we drink, and now we drink..." over and over again, ad nauseum. and john started playin' along on the drums and started fartin' around on my guit-ax thing and before we knew we had this catchy thing with the over wrought refrain (get gutteral now... strain those throat chords) "and now we drink.........." blah. so we are writing a beer drinkin' song and hope to have it ready soon. just thought might wanna know what goes on at the practices. we don't just sit around and pass gas..........we actually get creative sometimes....together.

well............that's all for now. i need to go and cut my right big toenail. either that or go buy some larger sized clod-hoppers. woooooo. fill me. cream me. it was a respirtory disorder for gods sake. lots of new songs. "hanger on", "puppet president", and "and now we drink" are 3. skittles.

2006-07-13T06:54:00.000-07:00

Posted by Forrest 08/11/04:

well sheeeeeeeeeite. the new improved site is up. and it's groovy as far as i can tell. i don't care what anyone else thinks.

update on the band, me and creativity: we've got several new songs.........and we are really diggin' most of them. just finished "She Likes The Boys"...................for Beckinator cd........a 'don't make me blush' nod to Becky our friend who comes to shows and likes bands and pizza and Casket Lottery. "She Likes..." kicks ass and Becky will like it very much. We will definitely be doing this song at shows. Rink!

i've got a bad headache right now. but i did wanna say... "hi! Helloooo! what's going ip!"...to everyone. We got some cool days ahead as far as FW&TC is concerned. a new album loooooooms. i can feel it...as the air gets cooler. with or without money...we'll find some way to do it. And you out there reading this..........tell everyone to buy our stinking catalogue of cds..............soooooooooooh we can make another.

until next boring entry..............flip my flapper and i'll be sure to ease your eeep with a lozenge.

forrest